Category Archives: Childbearing

Working for the King


“These were potters, and those that dwelt among plants and hedges: there they dwelt with the king for his work.”
1 Chronicles 4:23

“Potters were not the very highest grade of workers, but “the king” needed potters, and therefore they were in royal service, although the material upon which they worked was nothing but clay. We, too, may be engaged in the most menial part of the Lord’s work, but it is a great privilege to do anything for “the king”; and therefore we will abide in our calling, hoping that, “although we have lien among the pots, yet shall we be as the wings of a dove covered with silver, and her feathers with yellow gold.” The text tells us of those who dwelt among plants and hedges, having rough, rustic, hedging and ditching work to do. They may have desired to live in the city, amid its life, society, and refinement, but they kept their appointed places, for they also were doing the king’s work. The place of our habitation is fixed, and we are not to remove from it out of whim and caprice, but seek to serve the Lord in it, by being a blessing to those among whom we reside. These potters and gardeners had royal company, for they dwelt “with the king” and although among hedges and plants, they dwelt with the king there. No lawful place, or gracious occupation, however mean, can debar us from communion with our divine Lord. In visiting hovels, swarming lodging-houses, workhouses, or jails, we may go with the king. In all works of faith we may count upon Jesus’ fellowship. It is when we are in his work that we may reckon upon his smile. Ye unknown workers who are occupied for your Lord amid the dirt and wretchedness of the lowest of the low, be of good cheer, for jewels have been found upon dunghills ere now, earthen pots have been filled with heavenly treasure, and ill weeds have been transformed into precious flowers. Dwell ye with the King for his work, and when he writes his chronicles your name shall be recorded.”  Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Are we loving our children?


For many years I was the “younger woman”.  Marrying a man ten years older made me very comfortable with the 30’s crowd when I was still in my 20’s.  Often in a group I was the younger one, the less experienced, the newlywed, the young mother.  How quickly those years pass!

I now am rapidly reaching the stage of the “older woman”.  In fact, in many ways I already am one.  My oldest will soon be nineteen, I have several teens in the house and even though my youngest is three there are many things that appear to be changing.  No more diapers, breastfeeding, potty training, baby food.  No more middle of the night feedings and diaper bags.  It’s sad in a way.  But in another way, there is an exciting adventure ahead as I raise older children and watch them learn to fly.

I find myself surrounded by younger women still enjoying their pregnancies, caring for their little ones and in the thick of all things baby. And I realize with mixed emotions that those things are getting further and further away for me.  As I sit and try to rock my three year old with his legs hanging over the chair I cling to those baby moments that peak through still now and again.

But, there is no doubt…I am entering the stage of the older woman and with that comes a new responsibility. And I ponder as I think about my role as an older woman. The scriptures say I am to teach the younger woman to love their children.  This makes me consider…what does it mean to love our children?  In pondering this I am so convicted within.  So this post is for me as well.

What is loving our children?  For many of us the definition could encompass many different things.

  • Is loving my children having natural childbirth instead of getting an epidural?
  • Is loving my children breastfeeding over bottle-feeding?
  • Is loving my children scheduling vs. demand feeding?
  • Is loving my children feeding them all organic and fresh baked bread everyday, or maybe it grain free- or is it heating up a frozen pizza at the end of the day?
  • Is loving my children homeschooling them or letting them go to school?
  • Is loving my children living on a farm and having animals and chores or being in the city with a small plot for my child to play?
  • Is loving my children allowing them to watch netflix and have a cell phone or is loving my children banning them from the internet?
  • Is loving my children making sure they are in all sorts of extra curricular activities or fostering creativity and study at home?
  • Is loving my children running in the park with them and playing tirelessly with them or is loving my children caressing their hair and speaking tender words to them while I am on my sickbed.
  • Is loving my children having a well ordered clean and tidy home or a well lived in home with messes from loving activity?

Do you see a pattern here?  All these things there can be many debates about, many different opinions and feelings on how we should raise our children.  But, you know what?  We can major on all these things above and make those things our hill to die on…and forget what is really loving our children.

  • Loving my children is pointing them to Christ each day
  • Loving my children is training them in the ways of the Lord
  • Loving my children is leading them in family worship each day
  • Loving my children is looking into their eyes, listening to their tiny hearts, holding them and just being there.
  • Loving my children is wrestling with the Lord in prayer for them everyday.
  • Loving my children is sacrificing my needs for theirs.
  • Loving my children is providing for their physical needs as well as their spiritual needs.
  • Loving my children is nurturing them, protecting them, giving ourselves for them, guiding them and supporting them.
  • Loving my children is displaying 1 Corinthians 13 to them and the fruits of the Spirit.

So do we love our children in these ways by feeding them organic or making them a sugary dessert?  Am I doing that by scheduling my baby’s feedings or using more of an attachment parenting approach? Here lies the question?  And the answer is, I think we can love our children in all of the above.

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I believe the Lord has given us liberty to raise our children, care for our families in these many different ways.  Many times we want to put God in a box and create labels and make judgments on how our family has to look if we are true servants of the Most High.  But, He guides His people on different paths, directs them sometimes in ways they never thought they would go. When I was training to be a midwife I never would have thought one day I would have a voluntary epidural for my 8th baby.  Our life decisions change as we grow and learn to listen to the Lord’s guidance.

So ask yourself today, are you putting expectations on yourself that might be from others rather than the Lord?  

As a Titus 2 older woman it is my desire to encourage you in the second biblical list above, rather than the first man-made list. Pray and ask the Lord to direct you in all those practical things from list A that take second place to list B.  And He will give each family different dynamics, different practical applications, different lifestyles….And that’s ok.  

I pray the Lord will give each of us grace to TRULY love our children!

“Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” Mark 10:14

~~Feeling weary and worn down physically or mentally? Make sure to read my health testimony and some of the things that are helping me on my journey of healing from chronic and extreme fatigue!
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

How to make your children enjoy cleaning

As some of you know I am a bit strange…I love to clean. Yup, I have always been a cleaner. But, with a houseful of 10 and having years worth of sickness I need help! Teaching our children to work and help around the house is an important thing, especially in a large homeschooling family home.  With ten of us things get messy fast and the chaos that can ensure quickly becomes monumental.  But, having ten of us cleaning also gets things in ship shape as well.  I have done many things over the years to make clean-up fun and enjoyable.

When my 4 oldest were little we created a game called “Soldier House Alert”. My little guys would all line up in front of me raising their hands in salute.  I would in a deep voice say, “Captain Gray” please go over and pick up the legos in that corner.”  They then with their serious voice would say, “Yes, Ma’am” and march over to do the instructions I had given them and then returning with a salute for their next job.  I would get the room clean step by step by giving out these orders. They LOVED it!  And I was teaching them how to follow instructions and clean up a room.


Well, my two bookend little boys have never been introduced to Soldier House Alert. So today was the big day.  They went from frowns to smiles over cleanup when the game started.  And when I told them we were finished M said “I want to play some more!”

What are some of your ways of making clean-up enjoyable at your house?

~~Feeling weary and worn down physically or mentally? Make sure to read my health testimony and some of the things that are helping me on my journey of healing from chronic illness
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home


A Birth Story that is 17 Years Old


At this time 17 years ago my dear mother was driving our van 90 MPH down the highway while I laid in the back huffing and puffing and doing EVERYthing possible to not push. My dear husband was saying to me “Isn’t it a little early for that?” I really did not like that question.

I also wasn’t very kind to the midwife as we pulled up (or rather screeched up) and I told her threateningly she BETTER NOT tell me I was at a 4 or 5. She said sweetly, “Honey you are not at a 4.” They wheeled me in and I begged, NOW can I push!!!?? The midwife very laid-back said “You can push whenever you want” (really?  I had wanted to push for the last 30 minutes!) So I pushed and out came little William before you could shake a stick.  (Please never shake a stick at someone in labor, btw.)

There my chubby, sweet baby lay with HUGE wondering eyes, as calm as can be.

And I was in love.  How can that happen?  I thought my heart was full when I married Steven. Then I thought is was full when my firstborn came around.  Little did I know my heart would become 8 little people, 8 little pieces of my husband and myself, full.

When my dad came later bringing my toddler to meet the new baby. He said “Like falling off a log, huh?” Not quite Dad, not quite! 😌

You know, I have always wondered, how come the moms don’t get presents on their children’s birthday? They sure need to be remembered cause the memory of the labor never leaves their minds. I mean, just go up to any 90 year old woman at a nursing home and ask her about her labors with her children.  And honey, she may not remember what she had for lunch that day, but she sure as how remembers EVERY detail of her labors.  Because thats what moms do.  Moms give and moms love and moms labor.  And they would do it all over again and again.  Because every one of these little humans that God gives us are precious and priceless and worth every last drop of sweat and tears.

You might be in the thick of it with little ones, dear mama.  But, trust me, you will blink and you will be reminiscing of a day that was 17 years ago and yes, even kind of missing it.  A little bit. But, then again having the nearly grown children is pretty great too.


And by the way, I look JUST like that photo still nearly two decades later…ahem. 😜

~~Feeling weary and worn down physically or mentally? Make sure to read my health testimony and some of the things that are helping me on my journey of healing
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home