Category Archives: Mothering

Where are your eyes?

We now have three additional drivers in our house currently.  My oldest is experienced and independant, my second born nearly there and my third born just learning the road.

We live in South Carolina and for those of you who do not know what that means, let’s just say the roads are twisty, turny, curvy and THIN!  Yes, often these back road make you wish you could put your vehicle on a diet, especially a certain 15 passenger van.

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One of the hardest things for me is the night driving on these small, dark roads.  With the cars coming towards you and the glare shining in your eyes.  We instruct our children, when you get to where you can’t see, just focus on your line on the right.  Why?

Because you turn toward what you look at!  

If you focus on the glare of the car in front of you, your car will automatically pull towards that light.

And I got to thinking, is this not a biblical principle?

We will turn towards what we focus on.  

When Peter walked on water as long as Jesus was in his sight he stayed this way…but the minute he looked at the water, he sank right into it!

So, this begs the question…where is my focus?  Where is your focus?

As moms we can get so caught up in our daily duties we forget to keep our minds on Christ and our thoughts trusting in Him.  We get discouraged, cast down, and fatigued.

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Sometimes this means we have to talk back to ourselves as David did and say “Why are thou cast down oh my soul, hope thou in God!”

When the glare of the world’s discouragement shines into your eyes, where are you going to look?  Where am I going to look?!

~~Feeling weary and worn down physically or mentally? Make sure to read my health testimony and some of the things that are helping me on my journey of healing from adrenal fatigue!

 

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

 

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When finances are tight… Join me working from home!

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We live in a two income society.  Moms being at home with their children is almost becoming non-existant.  The home instead of being a place of instruction, learning, enjoyment of each other, fellowship and love has now become a place to sleep for a few hours.

The family is fragments and splintered. Dad goes to his job, Mom to hers, the children to school.  After hours we have sports and events, social gatherings and the next commitment.  We live our lives in passing, meeting in the hallway as we are headed in or out.

Many of us are seeking to go back to the biblical model of the home being the center of our lives.  In the home we desire to have unity as we grow up our little ones as in a gospel nursery.  We are seeking to have family togetherness rather than a splintering.  And for this reason many mothers have come home and are returning to this great work.  Others yearn to come home but feel trapped in a society geared towards two incomes. No matter how we pinch our pennies and seek to be frugal the heaping mound of bills can make us sink in discouragement.

The Proverbs 31 woman is full of industry and diligence, what would her days have been like here in 2016.  What does considering a field and buying it mean for nowadays?  I listened to a sermon once speaking of the role of woman and one thing that struck me was the fact that all that the Proverbs 31 woman did centered around and was for the good of the family.  She is not off building a career for herself independant and splintered from her family, but she is producing financial fruit as she is able -while making her first and foremost priority her husband and children.

That’s why when the Lord dropped my home business into my lap I was amazed!  I wasn’t looking for it.  I even resisted it at first.  But, it has been a blessing from Him that I was not expecting.

It all began with my health crash.  I had been struggling for over 15 years with adrenal fatigue and when I went down again, I really thought I might spend my life couch bound.  When the Lord used Plexus to put me on a path of healing, surprising my engineering husband and my skeptical self–He was doing something way beyond what I had anticipated.  I could not help but feel a burden to share with other women who might be suffering from illness in varying ways as well.  Before we could blink my home business was born.

When my first check arrived my husband was shocked!  What family could not use such surprise financial help?  And the possibility of growth is limitless!  So now I am offering this same blessing to you.  Would you like to join me on this fun endeavor sharing help and hope to other families?  Here are a few perks:

  • Plexus is a company of amazing integrity.  Our upline is superior in their commitment to professionalism and service.  I compare Plexus to Chik Fil A.  Always pushing the standard higher in their line of business.  Plexus has sought to go above and beyond and make network marketing what it should be.  We have many people who have been involved in other mlm’s that were super skeptical that now are in love with our companies policies and procedures.
  • Work with a team of other likeminded moms like you.  This is a mom blog so that is why I am speaking to those like myself.  There are wonderful Christian, homeschool moms that are thriving in this business.  One of my mentors has 11 children. :) They are real people like us and are doing an amazing job.
  • No inventory.  All is done electronically.  You refer people to your website (which is all maintained by Plexus) and they order and it is drop shipped to them.
  • Set your own hours–do as much or as little as you want.
  • Work in your pajamas while you are holding your baby.  Some of my friends have done nearly 100% of their business through facebook and online social media.
  • Introvert?  This is for you!  Don’t have time?  Give me 15 minutes! Don’t want to sell?  No selling needed, no pressuring–simply sharing a blessing to those that might need it.
  • When you join you become part of one of the best teams around with 24/7 access to your mentors, lots of fun training videos, informative documents to get you started.
  • There are 11 ways to earn and you can get your first check in as little as a week.
  • You can literally begin a booming home business with the potential to earn a six figure income for $34.95

I know, I know…if I was reading this blog post I would be brushing it off as too good to be true.  But, it’s not.  Charlotte will tell you it’s true.  Jen McBride will tell you it’s true.  Lois will tell you it’s true.  Brenda will tell you it’s true.  Melissa will tell you it’s true.

I am ready to add to my team…will you join me?

Here are a couple of Diamond Documentaries of two of my upline…homeschool real-life mama’s like you and me!

I would love to give you more info so email me today:  sandjervin@gmail.com

Have a great weekend!!

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12 tips for Biblical “Me Time”

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Previously, I shared about how I felt that “Me Time” under the right view was biblical.  If we do not care for ourselves then how can we care for our families?  Today I will share some things that I feel can be helpful in caring for ourselves and creating this atmosphere of quietness in ourselves and in our home.

  • Make your marriage a priority and have regular date nights.  Time alone with just your husband is imperative in a life with lots of littles and a large family and busy home.
  • Allow yourself to have a hobby.  Find something that you enjoy and can relax with once in awhile.  My mom recentling starting doing some beautiful coloring in some books she found and my children love to go down and sit once and awhile with her and color.  I just looked and CBD has some beautiful and Edifying Adult Coloring Books.  Do you scrapbook?  Maybe you enjoy writing.  Is there something you have always wanted to learn?  A musical instrument?  Gardening, reading, crocheting, a puzzle–find something that gives you some relaxation and pleasure.
  • Make sleep a priority.  Don’t feel guilty when you get a chance to nap.  Mama’s require alot of sleep and when you are able make it a priority.
  • Have some downtime either at the beginning or end of the day.  For me, my circadium rhythm has been off for years  and especially in my recovery from adrenal fatigue  mornings are still harder, so my downtime is in the evening. I need that time to wind down.  For many, those early morning hours are the jewel for quiet and preparation for the day.
  • Keep rest time in the house for as many years of your mothering as possible.  I now have a college student, 3 highschoolers, 3 middles schoolers and two preschoolers so a whole family rest time has stopped being practical.  However, when my 3 year old is down I still give myself the freedom to retire and have quiet.
  • Get together with other moms once in awhile.  Our church has a once a month gathering at Panera in the evening when the daddies can be home with the little ones.  This is such a blessing to connect with other moms and relax, as well as a time for edifying conversation.
  • Find a regular time when you are able to go just yourself to relax occasionally… whether that is window shopping or sipping a latte’ at Starbucks — take some time to breathe.
  • Make sure your time with the Lord is top priority.  Whether when you first get up, during the children’s naptime, when daddy is home and mommy can hibernate for a few minutes, or before bed- make sure your relationship with the Lord is kept central.
  • If you can, go away for a silent vacation…just you.  I mean it.  When I was on my sabbatical I realized that every mother would benefit from a yearly night or two away at a hotel.  A time when you can relax and have quiet, think and pray.  You will come back feeling recharged and so blessed!
  • Eat well and hydrate!  Enough said! This seems to be a given, but for me- stopping to eat is hard when you have SO much to get done. Before I know it, is it well into the afternoon and I haven’t taken the time to fuel my body with nourishment. I highly suggest the eating plan Trim Healthy Mama.
  •  Take your supplements!  Baby after baby I would take my prenatal while I was pregnant but then stop while I was nursing.  As my health began to deteriorate and my adrenal fatigue worsened I went to regular doctors and natural doctors.  I did detoxes and bioidentical hormones.  Many of these things helped me for a time but I would crash again over time.  A year and a half ago when I had my major crash we were at our wits end.  I was beginning to wonder if I would need to learn to be content with living couch-ridden.  Then the Lord showed me some amazing plant based supplements that have been working on internal healing in my body. I am a different person now, a better wife and mother.  If you are a struggling mother, fatigued and overwhelmed physically, don’t wait until you get as bad as I did.  Begin to take care of yourself now. 
  • Find time to play with your kids.  I often forget to stop and smell the roses.  I have my post-it notes in my head and am preoccupied with my next to-do list in my head.  But, let the schedule go.  Take the kids to the park.  Read a book with your toddler.  Dance with your teenager.  Live life. (Ask my husband how well I do with this :) )

I hope these things have encouraged you and given you some food for thought.  Especially, those of you with many young ones and no older help in the house, these tips are possibly even more important for you now–to have the strength to leaning on the Lord run the marathon ahead of this journey called motherhood.

~~Feeling weary and worn down physically or mentally? Make sure to read my health testimony and some of the things that are helping me on my journey of healing from adrenal fatigue!
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

 

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Is “Me Time” Biblical?

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Me time. What does that phrase conjure up in your mind? Positive or negative?

For years as a young mother I used to think the concept of “me time” was selfish and unbiblical. To think that I would need a break from my children would have been somehow less committed and giving into a fleshy, sinful attitude. If I began to feel overwhelmed or the desire to get away the guilt would hammer me. I was made for this role and this was my calling after all.

In so many ways our cultural, modern attitude puts self at the front at all times. The “You deserve a break today” McDonald’s campaign is rife with the “me first- look out for number one” idea. Children are looked on as burdens and irritations and the joys of motherhood are forgotten. We spend our time planning our next get-away.

And so, in reaction to that I along with many Christian mommies would feel guilt if we desired to have respite. Our children were blessings, after all…and who would need to rest from a blessing?

And then my health began to decline. After each pregnancy I was not bouncing back as I did before. The prenatal depression I had experienced for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy lengthened out longer and then started coming back postpartum. My hormones began to go wacky and the fatigue started to suck the life out of me. My brain began to swirl and the fog that would hang over me started lingering longer and longer. And I crashed.

My crash meant I could not be with my children hardly at all for 6 weeks. They had to get very special permission to enter my room and then only for a brief span with low voices. The adrenal fatigue had gripped me to the core and my body had said, “enough”.

And the truths that had started to come into my heart began to become undeniable…

It was not helping my family to not take care of myself. We are to love our families in serving them self- sacrificially, but if we do not care for ourselves in the process we will not be helping anyone. The first rule of rescue is to care for yourself. On an airplane you must first put your own oxygen mask on in order to care for your little ones.

  • So I have learned that it is not selfish to need time alone.
  • It is not selfishness to take a break and get in a place of quiet where you can string two sentences together without interruption.
  • It is not selfishness to make sure our physical and spiritual needs are being addressed.

For, in caring for ourselves, we care for our family. And I think that is the key…

We are taking breaks in order to better serve our families.

We are getting away to be more refreshed to return with joy.

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When I was on my 6 week sabbatical the intensity of silence was amazing. I had never had such sustained quiet before and it was stillness that was felt. I determined right then and there that every mama needed to have stated times of this kind of quiet, even for a 24-48 hour period. The mind slows down and begins to notice. I was able to notice the color of the flowers, the chirping of the birds. When my brain was not full of the next meal that needed to be made, the next subject that needed to be taught, the next closet that needed to be cleaned–I could contemplate, I could think, I could ponder.  Our brains are like the rest of our body and need to rest and refresh.

We are in a frenzy of a hurried society where we never take a break to stop and “Be still and know that I am God.” We are so overbooked and overcommitted with our self-induced expectations. Especially as homeschool/large family moms–we have a view of what a Proverbs 31 woman looks like, that is not necessarily what the Scripture says, but what our culture says. We run our children to this event and that, we say yes to every commitment and run ourselves into a frenzy.

We need to fight to make times for an atmosphere of quietness for ourselves and for our children.

In my next post I will share some things that I think are important to practically apply these things. In the mean time Anne Voscamp has an excellent article on How to Love Better by Loving Yourself More.

What are some things that you have done to create an atmosphere of quietness?

~~Feeling weary and worn down physically or mentally? Make sure to read my health testimony and some of the things that are helping me on my journey of healing from adrenal fatigue!
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

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