I keep thinking that if I tweak or change something-

Maybe if I redo the schedule-

Maybe if I reorganize the house-

Maybe if I train this child better in a certain area-

Life will get easier.  Life will be less stressful.  Life will be like I had imagined it would be.  With bubbles, and laughter, sunshine and smiles.  With puppy dogs and chocolates, baby kisses and park days.  No burned suppers, or mud tracks, temper tantrums and fatigue.  No fevers, messy houses or whining.  Life would be easy, right?

Don’t get me wrong. Redoing the schedule, reorganizing the house, training our children are all wonderful and necessary.  And we have many days of bubbles, laughter, and baby kisses.

But, here is something I keep being surprised by….

I keep being surprised that I am required to die daily.  

I keep striving for an easy life.

I keep thinking stress is bad.

I keep thinking that if I change something I can rid myself of trials.

But, the truth of the matter is I am called to be a soldier.  I am a woman of God in the middle of the battlefield.  I am raising an army for the Lord.  

I am required and called to die daily.

So why do I keep being surprised when I am called to die to myself; when I am called out of my comfort zone?  When life is hard why do I get caught off guard as though my normal should be trial free?

Why would Paul have said he fought the good fight…if there was not pain involved?  A soldier doesn’t expect a life of ease and get surprised when he has to get up each day and put on his gear and head to the front lines.

Maybe it’s not the schedule that needs changing…maybe it my perspective that needs to change.

Keep fightin’ mama!