In continuing with our Titus 2 Single Woman series, Stefanie is sharing her heart again…
A few evenings ago some friends of mine sat me down for a much needed talking to about some struggles I was dealing with. Afterwards I gathered much of what I gleaned from our talk and pulled it together into a blog post…..It would not surprise me to find that many others could probably benefit from this……
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“Loneliness, vulnerability, fear…..if you are a single woman reading this you may be as familiar with those words as I am. Nearly three years ago the Lord called me to leave my parents’ home, move to a new state, and in with a family I’d only met once before. Looking back I don’t know what I (or they!) were thinking, but I do know I was single, young, naive, and really didn’t even know what to pray for.
It’s hard to be alone, but if you are in that place I can tell you will learn to depend on God in a whole new way than ever before. I absolutely love something I heard Gianna Jenson say in one of her speeches, “You better not mess with me because I’m the Lord’s girl!” It’s true, I am His daughter. I know very well how tempting it can be if you’re lonely and afraid to start thinking, the Lord has forgotten about me, He doesn’t love me, I’m not blessed like all my married friends. But deep down I know that isn’t true. All I have to do is look back on my personal history and the many ways the Lord has cared for me. Stop and think about all the blessings in your life. Then think back harder, did you think to ask the Lord for all those things, or did He just give some of them to you because He knew what you needed better than you know yourself? Have you thanked Him for those things?
I say I’m alone, and yes, I’m single, but no, I’m not really alone. The family I mentioned in the first paragraph? I didn’t think to ask for family, but the Lord knew I needed it so He brought us together. I hope I’ve been a blessing to them, and I know they have been to me.
Call me old fashioned but I don’t believe a woman should be without protection. A father, or husband is the normal one to be in this role and once again I’ve felt sorry for myself because I’m going without. But am I? The Lord put me in a church where I’m supported and encouraged in being a Titus 2 woman and He’s given me good friends who have done everything from giving advice, to checking out a car for me before I bought it, helping me deal with the car mechanic when my car broke down, to pointing out to me when I’m wrong, or about to make a mistake, and just helping me in so many different ways. Or I could share with you how recently I had a man say something inappropriate to me. I was taken aback and uncomfortable, but later I realized how blessed I am that it’s never even occurred to me to have to worry about any of the men in my life talking to me like that. I’m not without protection and I have to trust that if the Lord leaves me single for another year, or for the rest of my life, that He has a plan for me then too just as He has these past three years.
As I’m sitting writing (typing:-) this post I had a knock on my bedroom door and was given some news that shook my world. The temptation then was to discount everything I’d just written and panic, “What am I going to do?” But at some point I need to start living what I say and trust the Lord….this seems like a good time to do that!
So what am I trying to say here? Well first of all I’m writing to myself too. This is an area the Lord is exercising me in. I don’t want to be single, I don’t particularly want to be writing on the subject, but it’s where the Lord has me and He’s given me a desire to share my heart and my walk with Him on this blog. Though it might be tempting to put up a false front and tell you all I’m doing great, I’m not. I need to hear these things, (as a matter of fact most of what I am sharing here are things I’ve heard from my friends – you might say I’m passing it on….), I need to learn to trust the Lord, to be thankful for what He has given me, to be satisfied with Him and the calling He has put me in. Practically I could remind you that we only need live one day at a time. We don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I can say I’ve wasted way too much time worrying about what it might hold. The truth is is that the Lord holds it. So easy to believe in your head, so hard with your heart. I know. Then I would also suggest if you can’t get the support and help you need from your own family to pray. To ask the Lord to give you someone to mentor you, whether that’s a family, or an older friend, or your church session. Someone you can be open with about your struggles, and someone you can count on to tell you like it is if you need it. Believe it or not, it is a blessing to have friends who love you enough to tell you you’re doing wrong.
As you can probably imagine over the past years I’ve read a lot of things written for singles, but I’ve found there’s very little out there to encourage the single girl/woman who wants to be living God’s calling as a Titus 2 woman. While I don’t have your answers, and I can’t fight your battles for you, I know the Lord does, and you can also know that if you’re reading this you have a sister in the Lord who is praying for you.
I hope you all have a blessed day as you seek to follow the Lord and wait on Him wherever He has placed you.
Stefanie blogs over at Pleasant Places. As a single woman who desires to be found in the service of her Lord, she is daily looking to Him for grace. Stefanie is kept busy in many areas of service for her church and is a special blessing to our family as a mother’s helper in our home.
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