The other day I saw a picture that someone posted that said, “Don’t quit…surrender.”  That simple sentence speaks volumes.  How many times in my life as a Christian mama have I wanted to quit?

As I have mentioned many times here on this blog I used to know how to be a wife and mother, I was a perfect one

…until I became one.

Yes, I could have written volumes, given seminars and given counsel to overwhelmed mothers on how they could schedule better, work with their children better, run their homes in that beautiful Titus 2 way.

And then I had a child.  And another. And another.  And another…until I have 8 beautiful arrows that sit at my feet, and 4 waiting for me in heaven. And my blessings overflowed and I was living the life I had dreamed of.  Except…

And all of a sudden, I did not know how to be a mother.  Because this life was in the theoretical it was in the reality of living a life of faithful dependence upon the Christ.

The Lord gave me stretch marks in many different ways…

You see, you can’t delete sin out of your perfect schedule.  You can’t clean your house from top to bottom and purge the filth of self.

You can’t get rid of the ugliness of heart that faces you day-to-day in the mirror through a modest dress.

Christ alone can give us a home of grace.

Only Christ can fill our homes with the aroma of His loveliness.

The way up truly is down.  By being humbled in the dust for our own inefficiencies, He is glorified.  He takes us through the valley of humiliation and it is when we are empty, when we feel we are sinking, that He fills and raises us up.

How many times over the years have I called my husband crying on the phone…”I can’t do this anymore!”  And yes, wanting to quit.

But, in my heart I know– I can’t quit.  That is not an option for me.  But, I can surrender.

I can surrender to the hammering in the furnace of self-denial that He gives me daily.

I can surrender to my own emptiness and marvel at His grace that is true fulness.

I can surrender to be the wife and mother He has made me.

I can surrender to be the clay in His hands as He molds and fashions me.

I am not the same woman I was on that day I married nearly 17 years ago.  That woman was full of theoretical wisdom, pride, arrogance, and thought she knew how to run the world.

My prayer now is that the Lord will use this insufficient woman with only two mites to bring glory to Himself.

Dear Mama, do you feel you want to quit?  Don’t quit!  Surrender!