The Lord has many ways of purging, sanctifying and refining us as His children. One of the ways that He has been doing that with me over the past several years is through health issues.
I have been brought low through weakness of the flesh many times. It is not enjoyable and can be so very difficult. But bodily afflictions can often be a way the Lord uses to show our utter dependance upon Him.
How often to we think we can do things in our own strength. How often do we say with our lips that we can do nothing without the Lord, but when we are full of strength and vitality, do we really feel this?
Then the Lord brings us low and we are brought to feel our emptiness.
And we remember.
We remember that it is only through His grace that we have our every breath. Every heartbeat is of Him. Should He withhold His sustaining hand from us, we are utterly helpless.
I have had adrenal issues for many years. I have often wondered if I could be diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have tried and done many things over the years, both of standard medical and naturopathic nature. Some of them have helped to some degree.
I am far better now than I was a few years ago. But, I am still often reminded of my dependance upon the Lord for the strength to get out of bed each day. I will not go on and on about my physical infirmities, but suffice it to say, I am weak in the flesh.
For me to do the normal functions of the day, things that another might take for granted, take an extra toll on my body.
I often seem normal in social settings. The energy and vitality that you behold is the result of my adrenals doing a great job of sustaining me. Then, when my body knows those adrenals can relax…they crash. I need time to recover from those things that I enjoy so much. A simple nights sleep, which causes most to bounce back, will not be sufficient for my body. When the signal that I can now rest finally reaches me, the overdrive that I have been in will be replaced with exhaustion and the need for a major recharge.
There are days that I cry in frustration because I compare myself with other moms. The neighbor who might be having this activity and that and continuing to go day in and day out. For me, having one event every few days is all I can really handle. I have to plan on recovery days or “crash days” when I have had a busy weekend. When I look at what others accomplish, I want to sit in self pity and wallow in complaint. But, these are the temptations of the enemy to come down off the wall.
It is at times like this that I must speak to myself as David in the Psalms…
Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance. Psalm 42:5
This is my lot that has been specifically chosen for me by the Lord. It is the Crook in the Lot that He has hand picked just for me. As Thomas Boston (the author of The Crook in the Lot) says,
Whoever be the instruments of any good to us, of whatever sort, we must look above them, and eye the hand and counsel of God in it, which is the first spring, and be duly thankful to God for it. And whatever evil of crosses or afflictions befalls us, we must look above the instruments of it to God.
I must look up, look beyond the physical afflictions and see the wise hand of God behind it all.
What I have been viewing as bad, He views as good…even perfect for me.
The Lord has given me two mites. Will I be thankful for those two mites and use them for His glory, or will I be discontent with His lot for me?
The enemy would have me focusing on what I am not able to do, instead of what I am able to do.
There is sanctification happening in our home, because of my infirmity.This is all part of God’s marvelous and beautiful plan for me as well as for my family.
In our weakness HE is made strong.
Do you feel weary today, dear sister? Do you have a physical affliction that tries you? May the Lord give you grace to look up to Him in your weakness today.
“Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.
29He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
30Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
31But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Isaiah 40:28-31
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